his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
