Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
