I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am mentally ready for anal.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
