well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
