my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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