Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize