Dual....:-)
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
