Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
