theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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