i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
