I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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