I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
