WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
