fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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