I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
