the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
