best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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