Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
