The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
