no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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