talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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