Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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