Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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