you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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