is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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