this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm always down for nudity.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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