More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
