im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I want to fling myself into the sun
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
