Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
