My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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