So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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