her vagine was all disorganized.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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