It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
