he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
