Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
