I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize