Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
