You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
