why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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