Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
