she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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