Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
