He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
