About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
