My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
