if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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