Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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