can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
