Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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