I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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