Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They took my balls.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
