guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
