Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
