I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
they're like a gay fantastic four
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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