sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
