I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
