glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
