either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
