How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
