I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
God, I missed his penis.
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