Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
