i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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