We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
