Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize