when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's just like the Real World with babies
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
