I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
